Etiquette | JMP Image & Style Group, LLC

In the service industry, how personal should you get?

By Jacqueline Peros, on November 26th, 2011

I recently experienced a situation that left me speechless and scratching my head thinking “what is wrong with people today?”

I was having a stressful few weeks and decided to treat myself to a facial at a leading and well known spa chain. I had a wedding coming up and unfortunately due to stress, my skin was reacting badly. My appointment was for a specific facial but when I met the esthetician, she informed me that the facial I requested wouldn’t be ideal because of the breakouts I was currently experiencing and asked me to suggest another one. I told her that I didn’t have the spa menu committed to memory so she can kindly recommend one based on her assessment of my skin. She began rattling off the entire facial menu and highlighting all of the add-ons but never mentioned pricing. I kept asking her for the descriptions, pricing, etc. At this point, I’m extremely annoyed that my appointment time is being eaten up by her regurgitation of the menu instead of her selecting one that she recommends and keeping to the original price of my initial facial choice. Once we decided on the appropriate facial, she began spewing out other services she could perform that evening; waxing, eye brow shaping, etc. All services I didn’t want or need at the moment.

Living in NYC can sometimes get to you so when you have the ability to take 70 minutes to yourself and relish in a serene environment, you take it. This was not going to happen during this spa service. At the point where my facial began, I was already frustrated that this employee was acting more like a salesperson than a skilled estictian but I was willing to mentally move on and enjoy the rest of the appointment. That is until she started asking me irrelevant and personal questions such as “What do you do?” “Are you married?” “Do you have children?” When I responded that I did not have children, she had the audacity to ask me “Do you want children? “ I was taken aback by this question because it (like the other questions prior to this one) is a very personal question and one I don’t find it appropriate to talk about with anyone, especially a complete stranger.

When I left my appointment and checked out at the front desk, there was a basket of recommended products my esthetician thought I should purchase which totaled approximately $500! Really? Did I need to spend even more than my very expensive facial to begin with? There wasn’t even a form that explained my skin type and why these products would work well for me. Maybe I would have chosen to purchase one of two of the products if I at least was given some information about them.

I walked out feeling even more stressed and frustrated than when I walked in. Her questions didn’t sit right with me all the way home and I began feeling mad at myself that I didn’t say anything to her while I was there. As I thought more about it, I decided to contact the spa manager and explained the situation to her and informed her that I will not be a repeat customer. The spa manager apologized, provided a discount on the next facial and offered a few free products but for me, it wasn’t about that. For me, it’s the fact this spa seems to be more about selling customers products, updgrades, etc. instead of providing a superior experience that will ultimately get people to spend more. This is a service business and should train employees on how to interact with customers. It’s all about selling the experience; not the product.

Have you experienced anything like this? If so, would love to hear your stories.

An Image Expert’s Take on Zagat’s Etiquette Survey

By Jacqueline Peros, on July 21st, 2011

Zagat recently spearheaded their own restaurant etiquette survey which is titled “10 New Rules of Dining Etiquette” and as Tom Zagat is making the media rounds talking about this “groundbreaking” survey I have my own humble opinions regarding the results.

1. Equality – according to Zagat, diners feel men are still treated better than women at most restaurants. Apparently this is due to the fact that the waiter believes the man is paying. I cannot say that I’ve experienced this but if you are a woman and feel this is the case, maybe it’s because the waiter is following your lead. If he / she believes the man is in control of the evening, he will cater to that person. If you want to clearly communicate your equality, perhaps you can provide your waiter with your credit card prior to the dinner. I’ve done this on a number of occasions to avoid any confusion as to who is handling the check at the end of the evening.

2. Whoever initiates the dinner date pays for it – this is really true in most invites but there is often confusion in how one phrases the question. If you ask someone out to dinner and state “would you like to go out to dinner?” it could be confusing to the intended person but if you rephrase the question to “I’d like to take you out to dinner” it avoids the confusion as to who will be picking up the check. Communication is essential in this scenario.

3. Zagat says to forget gender – people should order when ready. While I agree with this, I do feel there should be a disclaimer here that states you should gesture to the eldest person at the table (preferably the woman) to order first. I was always taught to respect my elders so if I’m out to dinner with my mother or mother in law, an aunt, god mother, etc. I always defer to them to order first. I don’t think it’s such a bad thing for a waiter to do the same.

4. According to Zagat’s survey 63% say using handheld devices during dinner is rude – I absolutely agree but it’s interesting how many diners weighed in on this to say it’s rude because I still see many diners attached to their devices while eating dinner! My suggestion here is that if you are expecting an important call, let your party know that ahead of time. It’s all about managing expectations and extending common courtesies to those around you.

5. Survey respondents say it’s fine to bring children to dinner in most restaurants – I have no issue with parents taking their children to a restaurant. My issue here is that many parents don’t understand how to ensure that their children behave once they are in the restaurant. I don’t find it cute when children are walking / running the restaurant floor because they no longer want to stay seated. I find it’s dangerous to them and the waiter if a waiter is coming out with a tray of hot food and doesn’t see the child at his / her feet.

6. According to Zagat survey it’s OK to dress casually and by they mean “don’t be a slob.” – the issue I have with this statement is that it leaves too much room for misinterpretation. The term “casual” means very different things to many different people. What I consider casual is very different from what some friends or colleagues might think. To me, there is something very civilized about getting dressed up to go to dinner. Last night I went to dinner with my husband and brother to a neighborhood restaurant that defines their dining style as “casual elegant.” The definition of elegant according to dictionary.com is tastefully fine or luxurious in dress, style, design, etc. so when you add the term “casual” (appropriate for wear or use on informal occasions; not dressy: casual clothes; casual wear) in front of it you can derive easily enough that the restaurant is suggesting your attire be “appropriate” casual yet refined. So I found it interesting how one woman who walked into this neighborhood (around 9 pm) interpreted the restaurant’s dress code as OK to wear a sun visor with what looked like a Lycra “skort” paired with a spaghetti strap top? Aside from the super casual attire that I wasn’t “appropriate” why did she opt to wear a sun visor at 9 pm? I was taught to NOT wear a hat at the dinner table!

7. Zagat survey says ” Honor your restaurant reservations or cancel them on time“ – Yes Yes and Yes! I completely agree with this. The survey says that if you make reservations and fail to cancel in advance, you’ll deservedly become persona non grata at the restaurant and while this is absolutely true, I look at it from a little different perspective. I feel that it’s equally important to factor in your fellow diners who might have tried to get a reservation but because the restaurant was booked they couldn’t. By cancelling a reservation, it now provides an opportunity for someone else to enjoy the restaurant.

8. Don’t overstay your welcome at a busy restaurant - I 100% agree with this. If you finished your dessert and coffee course an hour ago it’s time to move on!

9. Men go through doors first, and then hold them open for women – I agree! For liberal women everywhere I understand and respect your point of view but admittedly, I don’t every want chivalry to die out. I find something romantic about about it. My father was a very chivalrous man and taught my four brothers to be the same (my husband is this way too) so maybe it’s what I am used to since a child but I do find something very attractive and “hopeful” about men who still practice good manners.

10. The last Zagat survey rule states “the customer is always right” – while I am a business owner and completely agree with this statement, I do feel there needs to be a mutual level of respect as well as a mutual exchange of civility. Yes, the waiter needs to be hospitable but patrons need to be too. Thank you’s and a smile of appreciation go a long way!

Thank you to Zagat for bringing about this conversation! The survey highlights some great topics of etiquette.

20 Small Acts of Civility to Foster Better Business Relationships

By Jacqueline Peros, on June 10th, 2011

It wasn’t until I entered into the world of image consulting that the term “civility” became one of my favorite and treasured words. It’s a word that I try to live by every day despite the fact we encounter acts of incivility on a daily basis. As a child, my parents would teach me to “rise above it.” This provided the training ground I needed to help navigate through the corporate world as I became an adult.

Today, as a certified image consultant and personal branding expert, I work with many clients on teaching them the importance of embracing civility into their every day work life to help build and sustain long term business relationships. You might be asking yourself what exactly “civility” means. According to various dictionary resources, civility can be defined as the act of showing regard for others; manners; politeness; or a polite act or expression. For me, I define civility as providing a safe, comfortable and professional setting in order to build trust between those I am with.

Being civil in the workplace is critical to one’s success. It helps to project a positive and professional personal brand that can be leveraged for future career opportunities. Employers want to have confidence in their employees that in any given any workplace situation (positive or negative), that employee will handle with civility.

Here is a short list to help you start incorporating acts of civility into the workplace in hopes that it becomes contagious! What other acts would you add?

Acknowledge colleagues with a hello, good morning, good night, etc.
Say thank you, please, excuse me when necessary and applicable.
Refrain from stating negative comments about a colleague, manager or the company and this includes posting to social sites such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.
Refrain from talking negative about a situation and instead offer a solution.
If you see a colleague struggling with a project, offer to help.
Own your mistakes. We all make them and more often than not, we learn a tremendous amount by making them.
Be respectful of cultural differences in the workplace.
Communicate respectfully and don’t follow that old saying “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”
Respect different points of view.
Respect and practice company policy and protocol (i.e., no web surfing during company time, spending company funds on personal items, etc.)
Dress appropriate for the office and in a manner that illustrates professionalism.
Pay it forward whenever possible – always remember what or when someone did something nice for you and pass it on to the next person.
Provide “constructive” criticism and not “destructive” criticism.
Respect project timelines.
Be gracious for company perks; however big or small you deem them to be.
Acknowledge a job well done.
Respect meeting times.
Be in the moment – refrain from blackberry browsing when someone is speaking to you.
Be respectful of personal space.
Say what you mean, mean what you say.

It’s a Matter of Manners Not Race

By Jacqueline Peros, on May 17th, 2011

Photo courtesy of CBS Sacramento

The other night I heard the tail end of the news which reported that a woman was arrested for talking too loudly on her cell phone while traveling on Amtrak. Intrigued by this story, I went online to get the full scoop and as I usually do, I scanned the reader comments and was quite surprised to see that a number of readers felt that the charge for disorderly conduct was somehow due to the fact that she was African American.

The issue of following public policy and whether the offender is of a certain race should never be the consideration. This story is about a woman who blatantly ignored a public policy and multiple announcements which clearly stated “no cell phone use” and became belligerent when others pointed out the cell phone policy on the train. Just like unruly airplane passengers are escorted off the plane in order to maintain safety in the skies, this woman presented the same security challenges to train passengers and as a result was escorted off the train. The woman’s failure to follow policy and the potential harm to others got her arrested, not her race.

What do you think? Would love to hear your comments!

11 Etiquette Suggestions for Recognizing National Etiquette Week

By Jacqueline Peros, on May 11th, 2011

May 9-13 is officially National Etiquette Week so in honor of this week long event, I thought I would provide a few suggestions on we can all participate in such an important week for society. I would love to hear your suggestions too so post or comment here!

Before we start, let’s define the meaning of etiquette. According to Wikipedia, Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group. So, in other words, it’s how we behave towards each other that is considered appropriate and well mannered.

The list below represents those suggestions at the top of my mind and what I observe regularly as a New Yorker.

1. Subway Etiquette - when the subway enters the station and you want to board the train, please move aside and allow commuters to get off the subway first. I’ve been living in Manhattan for over 11 years and I’m amazed at how often people block the doors. How is this going to get you on the train any sooner?

2. More Subway Etiquette – your handbag, book bag or shopping bags do not get their own seat. Please keep these bags on your lap of on the floor so an actual human being can sit down. Oh and yes, as the photo to the right suggests, “No Man-Sitting!”

3. Sidewalk Etiquette - the rule is that a sidewalk is a two way street and shouldn’t be used for a group of people taking up the entire sidewalk and expecting others to move aside.

4. More Sidewalk Etiquette – if someone isn’t walking fast enough for you, no need to sign or breathe heavy just walk around them.

5. Please, Thank You – say these words twice as much this week as you normally would and see how powerful they are and well people respond to them.

6. Pay Attention, Please – put down your phone and actually be present when speaking to a friend, significant other, colleague, etc. I’m often in situations where I’m speaking with someone and they are looking down at their Blackberry or iPhones and not at me! Extend the courtesy of looking at someone when they are speaking to you; the email can wait.

7. Interrupting - if my family or friends are reading this, they probably want to know why I didn’t opt to put this as my #1 suggestion. This is probably my biggest pet peeve; when people interrupt when speaking. I’m all for heated and engaged discussions but it’s very important to allow people to complete their sentence or thought without having someone interrupt, as if what they are saying is insignificant.

8. Elevator Etiquette - if you live in an apartment building and are fortunate enough to live on the top floor that’s wonderful but send down the elevator for the next person so he / she doesn’t have to wait an eternity for it to come down.

9. Email Etiquette - leave your emotions at the door and refrain from engaging in aggressive and pointless conversations with those you believe are behaving badly. Instead of the email chains we have become accustomed to, pick up the phone and air it out that way.

10. Blog Comments Etiquette - it’s great to have a point of view but be sure to express it in a professional and value added manner versus a confrontational one.

Photo courtesy of healthyreader.com

11. Gift Etiquette – if someone sends you a gift whether for your birthday, your kids birthday, a baby gift, shower or wedding gift, etc. yes, it’s good etiquette so acknowledge their generosity with a thank you. I’ve mailed or sent gifts on 4 different occasions recently and haven’ t received one thank you. Was there some article written by an expert recently that changed the rules on sending thank you’s for gifts that I missed?

Is Reality TV Perpetuating Rudeness in Society?

By Jacqueline Peros, on May 5th, 2011

The Rules of Life by Richard Templar (Credit: Story of Bing website)

Admittedly I watch reality TV much to the dismay and bewilderment of a few family members and friends. They can’t seem to understand why I would waste my time watching this “type” of programming. In my defense I feel that at the end of a long day, it’s nice to sit back and partake in mindless entertainment. However, I have recently questioned my participation in watching what I’m now realizing is a slow and dangerous digression in human behavior.

After watching shows like Real Housewives of New York, NJ, Beverly Hills, Bridezillas, Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious, etc. I wonder about the example these “celebrities” are setting for the younger generation. While I am able to decipher between what is right and wrong in the treatment of others, perhaps those that are younger might not be able to and assume what they are watching is considered acceptable behavior.

Jersey Shore - The Situation throwing a woman out of his bedroom

As I watched a few episodes of the Jersey Shore, I was horrified at how one of the cast members who calls himself, “The Situation” spoke to and treated the women he met. His complete lack of respect for these women infuriated me. This guy apparently has a sister too! I wonder if he would appreciate some other subhuman treating his little sis like that! However, I must say that the “women” cast members out do the “gents” with their vulgar language and frequent bar brawls and one night stands. With the majority of viewers between the ages of 15 – 28, this seriously scares me. I know a few 13 & 14 yr. olds that watch and LOVE this show and this age group is young and impressionable.

Bridezilla Karen and her bridesmaid berating a hard working seamstress

For women between the ages of 20-35 there are the two very popular shows: The Style Network’s Jerseylicious and WeTV’s Bridezillas. In Jerseylicious we get to watch two hairstylists scream and claw at each other for what seems to be extremely trivial issues. There is such a lack of civility and respect between these two employees, I wonder if there really is a manager/owner at the Gatsby Salon where much of the show is filmed. In Bridezillas, we watch brides berate not only their friends and family but all of the vendors helping them achieve the dream wedding day they have held on to since the age of 5 years old.

All I can say about Bravo’s Real Housewives brand is that these women are old enough to know better. Flipping tables, hair pulling and cat fighting amongst women who are supposed to be successful, educated women is out of control! Many of these women have children so how do they feel that this is the legacy they will leave behind or be remembered by? I find it so interesting that while they talk badly about one another to each other, they find success in writing books on “etiquette.” Really?

With each new reality show, the stakes seem to get higher for over the top bad behavior so that ratings sore and these individuals are definitely delivering. My question is at what cost? We are creating a global platform for the acceptance of mistreatment to each other!

So what do you think? Do you think these reality TV shows are negatively impacting society’s behavior towards each other?

5 Unfiltered Questions You Shouldn’t Ask Someone

By Jacqueline Peros, on March 10th, 2011

Oops! Probably shouldn't have said that! Photo courtesy of www.zazzle.com

How often have you been at the receiving end of an unfiltered thought and it has either hurt your feelings or made you angry? I know I have and it leaves me wondering if that person was being intentionally cruel or just clueless. I typically give the person the benefit of doubt but lately I (along with a few of my fabulous friends) have encountered such a lack of “filtering” going on that I’m writing this blog to help people understand why it’s important and necessary to filter their thoughts.

To ensure we are all on the same “blog” page here, I want to define what I mean by “filtering” since there are multiple meanings. One of Webster’s definitions used in verb form is “to flow slowly; trickle” and this is the one we will use for the purpose of this article. When a thought comes to one’s mind and the initial reaction is to blurt it out without any regard for consequences (someone’s feelings) please remember this definition and apply accordingly. Think, process slowly, and let it trickle to your mouth in a slow manner so that the insensitive part of your comment or remark is filtered appropriately.

I recently had a conversation with a few female friends and we discussed the lack of “filtering” that people seem to exhibit these days and it’s baffling to us what some people feel is acceptable to ask or say. For example, before I was married, I was asked repeatedly by relatives and acquaintances “Why aren’t you married yet?” “What is wrong with you?” “Are you a lesbian?” Yes I was asked about my sexuality at a kid’s birthday party held on a Sunday early afternoon on Long Island (about an hour or so outside of NYC and two trains later). Instead of thanking me for coming out for this kid’s party, I was asked this question while on the buffet line! I guess because I didn’t feel the need to ask a random guy to a kid’s party, my sexuality came under question. Now that I’m married (4 yrs), I’m of course asked about why we don’t have children yet? Do you want kids? Do you have fertility issues?? And so on. It’s interesting to me that most people steer clear of talking politics because it’s considered a somewhat private topic but everything else from dating to marriage to children is considered fair game for discussion.

So in honor of all my fellow “peeps” that have had to endure an unfiltered remark, question or conversation, I’m jotting down a few of the more commons questions that should be considered off limits to ask.

1. Are you dating anyone? Are you going to get married?

If your friend or family member is dating anyone seriously, trust me, they will tell you. If they aren’t, they don’t need to be asked repeatedly as it could be a sore subject for them. And if they are dating anyone seriously, don’t ask about when they plan to marry. They might be fine with never getting married and that’s OK. However, if your friend or family member thinks it’s time to get married and he or she hasn’t popped the question, this is a sensitive topic so don’t ask.

2. When do you plan to have children? Do you want children? Are you trying?

Really people? This is a topic that is extremely private and should be kept that way. You never know if a couple is struggling with this issue. However, some couples might not want to have children and aren’t comfortable saying it out loud because there is at times a judgment placed on adults who come out and say this. For some reason, their character is questioned because they consciously opt out of procreation.

3. How old are you?

Never ask anyone how old they are. Age doesn’t define a person and most people are uncomfortable with giving out that information for fear of being judged about where he or she is in their stage of life.

4. How long have you been unemployed?

Being unemployed in this economic climate is frightening and stressful so asking for the precise months (or years) someone has been collecting unemployment only makes that person feel worse.

5. How much do you make? Or how much did something cost?

Why would it be necessary to know this information?

These are just a few of my top offenders for lack of filtering. Do you have any to add? Would love to hear them!

5 Great Reasons to Send a Thank You

By Jacqueline Peros, on February 6th, 2011

Growing up I was taught to send thank you cards to those who were kind enough to give me a gift for special occasions such as a birthday, communion, graduation etc. or performed an act of kindness that my parents felt warranted a thank you note. While I didn’t look forward to this ritual I did learn the importance and meaning behind it and as a result, it has helped me both personally and professionally.

Sending a thank you doesn’t just apply to gift givers but also includes acts of professional kindness such as a client referral, a business introduction, or an interview. Taking a few minutes out of your day to craft a nice thank you note will most definitely set you apart.

I’ve recently become surprised at how many people no longer think it necessary to send a thank you note; for anything! I cannot determine if it’s because of the perceived “casualness” of today’s society and people view thank you notes as a more “formal” task or is it that people just don’t know any better?

If you believe that a thank you note / email / phone call is “old school” and not necessary in today’s world, here are 5 (I think) great reasons to counter that argument. After reading, let me know if I’ve changed your mind!

1. It eliminates the guesswork – a gesture, whether it’s sending a gift or maybe a client referral, business contact etc. should be acknowledged because it enables the giver/sender to know that it was received. How often have you wondered whether your gift was received? Or if that a client referral or connection worked out for the receiver? With technology at our fingertips at all times, a simple thank you takes only a few minutes to craft and send.

2. It builds rapport and establishes long-term relationships – taking a few minutes out of your schedule to acknowledge a kind act helps to build rapport and trust in both personal and professional relationships. People want to do business (or develop relationships) with people they like.

3. It shows respect – thanking someone shows that you have respect for that person and their time. If someone takes the time out of their schedule to do something nice for you, why wouldn’t you show respect to that person and acknowledge their kindness?

4. It demonstrates good manners – think about how you feel when someone doesn’t say please or thank you to you. It’s not a nice feeling right? Why? Because as early back as you can remember, your parents instilled the importance of manners so when it’s not returned to you, it’s disappointing.

5. It shows gratitude – at times I feel there is a strong sense of entitlement amongst people today and I often wonder if this is why showing gratitude is a foreign concept for some. Recently, a friend sent me a client referral and I was grateful that she took time out to not only recommend me but she called to give me a little background on this individual so that I was prepared for the conversation. I was truly grateful and sent her a handwritten thank you note. Once received, she called to tell me that she cannot remember the last time she received a note like mine and it made her day.

So did I change your mind? Will you be sending more thank you notes when appropriate?

Thanks for taking time to read this blog article

7 Email Tips to Get You Noticed at Work

By Jacqueline Peros, on December 12th, 2010

Much of my professional career was spent in technology marketing up until a few years ago when I decided to become a certified Image Consultant and founded my own business. Having worked in a corporate environment gave me unique insights into behavior that got people noticed and ultimately promoted. Many employees overlook their misuse of email and are surprised to learn that it does negatively impact their image in the workplace.

Here are a few tips you can start to implement in your email messages that will help you communicate more effectively with your colleagues, customers, prospective customers and vendors and also provide you with a competitive edge in the office.

1. You craft a great subject line – I’m not suggesting you take creative writing classes and craft an award winning subject line; I’m suggesting that your subject line represents (in a succinct manner) the body of your email. Have you ever received an email with a long chain of responses and by the time it gets to you, the body of the email has nothing to do with the subject line?

2. You highlight next steps – On average, we receive approximately 200-300 emails a day so if you need the recipient to take action, be sure to indicate and highlight action items or next steps.

3. You summarize an email chain – Don’t expect the recipient to read through an email chain and respond accordingly. Take a few minutes to summarize the chain and indicate why you are forwarding it to recipient.

4. You don’t “reply all” – If the content isn’t applicable to everyone on the original email distribution, don’t hit reply all. If you do, it is a complete time waster for all those on the email.

5. You don’t forward “sensitive” emails – Before forwarding ANY email check the content and be sure it doesn’t contain any confidential information or negative comments about a manager, colleague, customer, etc.

6. You spell check – There is a function called “Tools” so be sure to turn on spelling & grammar.

7. You don’t use acronyms – refrain from LOL, LMAO, DL, WTH, etc. Corporate email communications are business related and should written in a professional and more serious tone rather than an email written to a friend.

Do you have any effective email tips that you want to share?

8 Career Limiting Mistakes Made at the Holiday Office Party

By Jacqueline Peros, on December 1st, 2010

It’s that time of year again when eating drinking and acting merry is the norm. The holiday season is filled with endless celebrations both at home and in the office. What one does in their own home is their business but the office is a public venue and can make or break one’s career.

Having worked in the corporate world as a marketing professional for some time, I can tell you that I’ve seen my share of careers gone bad because of inappropriate behavior at the annual holiday office party. It’s OK to have fun and enjoy your accomplishments at year end but why risk your reputation and potentially your job by showing poor judgment in one night.

Here’s my take on 8 career limiting mistakes that happen at the holiday office party and I can say that I have witnessed many of these.

1. Don’t do club wear – plunging necklines (yes this is for both men & women) short mini’s, excessive make up, funky footwear, overpowering perfume and cologne can be left for weekends not the office party.

Dress is too revealing for an office party and guys need not show chest hair

2. Don’t do shades indoors – not sure how this “trend” started but I assume some celebrity thought it was hip or cool to wear sunglasses indoors so the rest of society considered this to be acceptable. Unless a person has entered into thewitness protection plan and doesn’t want to risk being recognized, please don’t wear sunglasses indoors. It looks ridiculous and communicates “I have something to hide” or “I’m too cool to look you in the eye when speaking to you.”

3. Don’t gossip, point or poke fun at your colleagues or management team. This is a sure way to limit your ability to move up in the organization.

4. Don’t over indulge in alcohol or food – while this might seem obvious to many, for some reason, employees still do it. If you get drunk, you will be the person everyone talks about for year’s to come. And while the food buffet or passed hors de vours are yours for the taking, it’s not necessary to eat as if it’s your last meal. Ample portions are good, super size portions not good. One could be perceived as ill mannered or selfish by over indulging.

5. Don’t be an ingrate – companies don’t have to provide a holiday party but they do it to thank the employees for their hard work throughout the year so don’t complain about the venue, food, or the fact they didn’t have “premium” alcohol.

6. Don’t be inappropriate – while the event is festive in nature, it doesn’t mean you should discount the do’s and don’ts of appropriate office behavior. This means no ogling at co-workers and no overly outward displays of affection.

7. Don’t be ill mannered – thank the hosts for their generosity in throwing the event, don’t ignore the staff who are serving you instead thank them, introduce yourself to a colleague if you don’t know him or her and be sure to look as if you are enjoying yourself and not as if you want to make a clean get away when no one is watching.

8. Don’t not attend – we all have hectic schedules, particularly around this time of year but it’s considered disrespectful to not show up for your company party. Of course if you are out of town that’s an appropriate excuse but if you just don’t want to make the effort, that’s showing a lack of team spirit or lack of leadership.

Eat, drink and yes be merry but do it appropriately and in moderation!

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